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Website feedback
Started by JohnG at 04-27-2006 5:13 AM. Topic has 13 replies.
  
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 04-27-2006, 5:13 AM
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JohnG
 
Joined on 08-04-2005
Posts 162
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![Big Smile [:D]](/emoticons/emotion-2.gif)
Jokes
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Two arials met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Atch!
Atch who?
I'm sorry I didn't know you had a cold!
"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up?" said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one boy rose to his feet. "Now then boy, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the teacher with a sneer.
"Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."
If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter
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04-27-2006, 6:09 AM
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deanoson
Joined on 08-11-2005
Posts 168
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![Smile [:)]](/emoticons/emotion-1.gif)
Re: Jokes
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you saved yourself with the last two there John .....
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04-27-2006, 7:44 AM
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JohnG
Joined on 08-04-2005
Posts 162
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Re: Jokes
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People at work think I write Christmas cracker jokes, I think that's a bit too professional!
There was a man who bought a hamster into the vets.
He said to the vet "he won't move."
The vet replied "he's dead!."
The man said, "No, I don't believe you"
So the vet brought a Labrador dog in but he shook his head.
The man still didn't believe the vet, so he brought a cat in. The cat shook his head
"See I told you" said the vet ."Well that's £1,250"
The man said "£1,250!"
The vet said "Yes, you had a lab report and a cat scan."
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Teacher: Where's your homework?
Boy: I made it in to a paper plane and someone hijacked it!
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Sarah and Simon were arguing over the breakfast table.
"You're so stupid," said Simon.
"That's enough" said their dad, "Simon, say sorry to Sarah.
Simon replied "I'm sorry you're so stupid!".
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04-27-2006, 8:06 AM
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ians
Joined on 07-14-2005
Guildhall Wado Kai
Posts 75
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Well maybe those really cheap 'value' crakers from Tesco ![Wink [;)]](/emoticons/emotion-5.gif)
Here's some (shamelessly stolen from someone else):
A man walks in to a doctors with a steering wheel in his pants.
The doctor say "That looks painful",
The main replies "It's driving me nuts".
A man walks in to the doctors with a carrot up his nose, and some celery sticking out of his ear.
The doctor says to him "I don't think you're eating right"
A man walks in to the doctors, pulls down his trousers and show the doctor a piece of lettuce sticking out of his bottom.
The doctor winces and say "That looks painful",
The man says "It's just the tip of the iceberg"
That's all folks (for now )
-Ian
Guildhall Wado Kai
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05-05-2006, 7:46 AM
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deanoson
Joined on 08-11-2005
Posts 168
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the pop singer Sophie Ellis-Bxtor has been found dead in the flat of the french footballer Zinedine Zidane . Police reckon it was Murder on Zidanes Floor....
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07-13-2006, 4:31 AM
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JohnG
Joined on 08-04-2005
Posts 162
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Re: Jokes
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08-14-2006, 6:15 AM
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deanoson
Joined on 08-11-2005
Posts 168
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here is one i heard on holiday from a kid on stage during a little talent show ...about 4 years old .
why did the chicken cross the road
because he was hungry .
hahaha.....strange but funny from a young kid.
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08-14-2006, 6:29 AM
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JohnG
Joined on 08-04-2005
Posts 162
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Re: Jokes
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Be honest Dean, that was one of yours that u where just trying out
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08-14-2006, 9:20 AM
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ians
Joined on 07-14-2005
Guildhall Wado Kai
Posts 75
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I'd have been proud of that one!
-Ian
Guildhall Wado Kai
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08-15-2006, 2:03 AM
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JohnG
Joined on 08-04-2005
Posts 162
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Re: Jokes
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My job as Christmas cracker joke supremo is under serious threat
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10-15-2006, 11:43 AM
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JohnG
Joined on 08-04-2005
Posts 162
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Re: Jokes
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A man walks into a bar with a slab of tarmac under his arm and asks for a beer and one for the road.
Man walks into a shop with a fish under his arm and asks, do you sell fish cakes in here? the shop keeper replies yes, why? Oh it's his birthday today.
Rabbit walks into a butchers store and asks "got any lettuce?" Shopkeeper says, "no, we haven't, this is a butchers." Rabbit walks out.
Rabbit returns next day and asks "got any lettuce?".
Shopkeeper: "As I told you yesterday this is a butchers, we don't sell lettuce." Rabbit goes away again.
Third day, Rabbit returns, same question "Got any lettuce?"
Shopkeeper is getting angry now "No, we haven't got any lettuce and if you come in here tomorrow asking for lettuce I will nail your ears to the floor!" Rabbit leaves.
The next day the Rabbit returns: "Got any nails?"
"No, this is a butchers not a hardware shop"
"OK, got any lettuce??"
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10-16-2006, 8:49 AM
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deanoson
Joined on 08-11-2005
Posts 168
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well done John , i think your christmas cracker job is safe for now....... ![Hmm [^o)]](/emoticons/emotion-40.gif)
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East London Wad... » General Discuss... » Website feedbac... » Re: Jokes
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